MARRIAGE COUNCILORS

Why it's done

Premarital counseling can help couples improve their relationships before marriage. You'll be encouraged to discuss topics related to marriage, such as:

• Finances
• Communication
• Value, attitudes and beliefs
• Roles in marriage
• Affection and sex
• Desire to have children
• Family relationships
• Decision-making
• Dealing with anger
• How well you know each other

Premarital counseling helps partners improve their ability to communicate, set realistic expectations for marriage and develop conflict-resolution skills. In addition, premarital counseling can help couples establish a positive attitude about seeking help down the road.

Keep in mind that you bring your own values, opinions and history into a relationship, and they might not always match your partner's. For example, family systems and religious beliefs vary greatly. Many couples have experienced different upbringings with different role models for relationship and marriage. Many people go into marriage believing it will fulfill their social, financial, sexual and emotional needs — and that's not always the case. By discussing differences and expectations before marriage, you and your partner can better understand and support each other during marriage.

While a wedding day has the promise of all things bright, no marriage is without its gloomy patches. When communication stops, feelings of doubt, mistrust and hurt can settle on both spouses. This may be the time to reach out to a marriage counselor. A certified marriage counselor's job is to guide a couple in determining what the real issues are, how to better solve differences and how to judge whether the marriage is salvageable.